I wanna be carefree…be able to let go of everything for a minute and not have to think of what I need to do or where I need to be.
Lately I’ve been finding myself constantly stuck in situations that I could care less about. There’s just so many unnecessary things that, no matter how hard I try to avoid, I find myself stuck in it someway, somehow…
If you asked me why I do the things I do, my answer would be “because I can.” And that’s what I’ve always told myself. Even if I’ve never done it before, I always took on the challenge to try something new and take on a new task and see how well I do and what I can take from it. That’s just how I’ve always been. But lately, I’m starting to ask myself the question…
“Why am I doing all the things that I do?” or “how did I get myself into this?”
I think I may have signed myself up for too much now that they just keep coming for me even when I don’t want it. I also feel like I’m starting to lose sight of what’s really important to me, and the things that I need to focus on. My vision for my future is starting to become a bit blurred because I’m so caught up in everything that’s happening.
About two years ago, I was going through some rough days and did everything I could to keep my mind off of things. So I started to get involved in all sorts of activities and took on new hobbies (coordinating events, photography, dance, etc.) just to keep me occupied, and also it was a great way for me to learn more, experience new things, and utilize my skills.
Since then, I’ve carried on so much (SO MUCH) more responsibilities! And I kind of wish I could just step back and take a break from EVERYTHING! I’ve constantly been feeling tired and overwhelmed from all the stress that comes along with having that much responsibilities and dealing with so many different people. I’m also starting to wonder what the purpose of all this is?
Honestly, I just want to be able to take some time off from (not get rid of) everything so I can gather myself together and really spend some time to reflect on things. I want to be able to focus on the things that are important and be able to steer clear of the unnecessaries.
I just want my vision to be clear again so I can see where I’m headed…
